Do you long for the serenity of time alone, feel stretched to your limit already with everything you have going on in your life, practice a religion that requires monogamy, are happy with one partner, dislike “processing” or find discussion of feelings tedious, are satisfied with your sex life, or most importantly prefer monogamy for any reason? Then polyamory is probably not be a good choice for you. Monogamy – especially practiced as serial monogamy and/or cheating – is far more popular in the US today than is any form of openly conducted non-monogamy. Even among non-monogamies, swinging is far better known and much more common than polyamory. Clearly, polyamory appeals to a minority of people.
If a couple is polyamorous, it means that although they have an open relationship, they are fully committed to each other. They are allowed to have sexual relationships with other people and they don’t consider that to be infidelity. This doesn’t mean their partners don’t satisfy them and this doesn’t mean they’re sex addicts. We are all capable of loving more than one person at a time, and some people just choose to do exactly that.
The Ideal Relationship?
A polyamorous relationship is meant to be the ideal relationship because having more than one partner means a person’s every need (sexual, mental and emotional) can be fulfilled at all times. But jealousy, envy and insecurities can throw a wrench in things. So, in order for a polyamorous relationship to be successful, it needs to be based on complete honesty.
Polyamorous relationships are based on equality, high trust and security. Partners need to negotiate the terms of their open relationship and then stick to them. The people they choose to bring into the relationship are also aware of the terms and need to abide by them in order to make the relationship work. Everyone plays their part, follows the rules and is committed.
Masters of Communication
For polyamory to work, good communication must be practiced by all involved. The same is true for monogamous couples and polyamorous couples have a lot to teach monogamous couples about communication. If couples with open relationships can communicate well with all involved, then monogamous couples should have an easier time just communicating with each other!
What Happens Next?
In order for polyamorous relationships to work, the “What happens next?” question needs to be answered. Can this type of relationship work on a long-term basis when it’s human nature to grow and change? It can, if the relationship grows and changes with the people in it.
While a polyamorous relationship may be fairly easy to maintain in the beginning, it does get hard to maintain as time goes on. But just because it gets harder, doesn’t mean it gets impossible. The key to making a long-term polyamorous relationship work is to regularly check in with each partner to make sure they are still okay with the romantic arrangement.
So what do you think about polyamorous relationships? Are you in one or have you been in one? What was it like for you? Would you consider being in a polyamorous relationship? Why or why not?