A good romantic comedy is an awesome way for women to spend an evening. To those who are lonely, it is small comfort that the “right” guy is out there “somewhere.” Unfortunately, all the media hype contains many soul mate myths that women believe and structure their lives by.
That is sad because it causes some to wait for something that doesn’t exist. Soul mates exist but they aren’t as movies make them out to be. Those who understand the truth about relationships will fare better in the dating world than those who depend on a fantasy.
Below are four myths about soul mate relationships that women need to understand:
- There isn’t one perfect person as your soul mate.
Think about it logically. If there is only one person for each one of us, what would happen if that one person died young? Or married someone else? Would that mess up the whole universal plan? Humans have free will and, therefore, aren’t “destined” for one person.
We choose who we love. Sure, there could be some divine intervention in meeting that person but our reaction is our choice. That person develops a soul tie with you when you get married or when you have sex. Both are emotional commitments that begin soul ties.
You could have numerous people that could be a soul mate. A soul mate is someone with whom you have a deep, unexplained connection. This could be based on personalities, interests, backgrounds, faith, or something else.
In a world of seven trillion people, it is statistically improbable that you would only have a soul mate connection with one person.
- A soul mate relationship is full of roses and butterflies.
Just because you are in a soul mate relationship doesn’t mean it is all romance. The amount of romance in the relationship depends on personalities. That includes both yours and his. If one or both are the romantic types, there won’t be a lot of it. Some guys, as great as they are, don’t get it.
For instance, you may find going to hear a symphony by candlelight the ultimate romantic experience. Yet, your significant other doesn’t even pick up on the hints you’ve given him about getting tickets. You may feel he doesn’t care but the truth is that he just isn’t up to par on women’s signals.
A lack of romance doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. People show love in different ways and his way may not match yours, even if you are soul mates. He probably thinks that taking out the trash every night without being asked and getting your car washed shows just how much he loves you.
Romance also takes a back seat throughout a lifetime. Jobs, house cleaning, activities, and kids absorb the time that used to be set aside for romance.
Couples have to work to have romance both in scheduling, planning, paying for it, and then actually doing it.
- There is always a happily ever after in a soul mate relationship.
This is probably the most damaging myth because it sets women up to believe that relationships will always be there. Having a soul mate doesn’t mean the relationship is for a lifetime.
Some relationships, even the intense ones, don’t work out. It becomes more challenging to keep the relationship when the soul mate aspect is intense. More intensity tends to result in more drama and that can doom a relationship.
There are only two ways a relationship, even a soul mate one, can go. You will either eventually break up or spend a lifetime together. There are no other options.
- Soul mate relationships are perfect.
No relationship is perfect. There is a joke about what to expect on a wedding night. Within two days, she will make him angry. Within two hours, he will make her angry.
To some extent, that is true in that it won’t take long for either of you to see each other’s flaws. This is particularly true once you are living together or married.
Up to that point, you and he have put up a bit of a facade to present your best self. Then one morning one of you will fart in bed. You will get up with bed hair to make coffee. He will scratch his butt.
Guess what, both of you are human. Once you recognize that fact, both of you will allow a lot of grace for flaws and that will help your relationship thrive.
Once people open their eyes to the reality of life and human love, they will find that dating becomes a lot easier. Expectations are lowered and you can spend time with whoever you are with a much more relaxed attitude. That opens up doors for both romance and long-term love.