When it comes to sources of conflict with work, love, family, friends, or money, these conflicts are often times brought about because of high expectations…either from yourself or from others. To fully comprehend how expectations can be holding you back from success and happiness, first it’s important to understand what exactly is meant by expectations. By definition, expectations mean the belief that something is going to happen based on our way of believing. However, the problem is that we aren’t always truthful and realistic about what we want, therefore our expectations become too grand in scale.
Creating Realistic Goals for Yourself
To avoid being burdened and stressed out from high expectations you may never meet, it’s important to create realistic goals for yourself. Find a balance between what your highest expectations may be and what the possibility is of actually achieving those expectations. Create smaller goals for yourself. Once you’ve reached those smaller goals, then you can set your sights on larger goals…one goal at a time.
Creating Your Own Meter of Success
Sometimes our high expectations are the results of our upbringing. If you were taught that success only comes to those who have the huge mansion and fancy car and a huge bank account, then that could definitely warp your sense of expectations. It’s time to take those high and unrealistic expectations down a notch or two and realize where you are in your life and how that can shape more realistic expectations.
Making Your Expectations Your Own
You can’t live a healthy, successful, and happy life by striving to meet the expectations of others. That’s just unrealistic and will only result in great disappointment. Focus instead on what makes you happy and why types of goals will make you feel fulfilled. Your expectations should be your own and not those of your family, friends or co-workers.
Getting Rid of Fixed Fantasies
Letting go of high expectations means getting rid of those fixed fantasies that you’ve been harboring or perhaps others around you have suggested. Fixed fantasies tend to include the phrase of if I do this then so and so will happen. But that if I do this part is typically not something that is attainable of likely to happen yet it’s something we fixate on. Instead, try giving yourself more attainable and realistic goals that don’t pertain to if but rather I will. I will do this…not if I do this. That way it’s more a reality than a fantasy, which means the high expectations will no longer be burdening you.
Remember, high expectations are things we may all deal with in life at some point or another. But in recognizing that they are exactly that…high expectations, we can start to turn away from that which is unobtainable and instead focus more on our goals and aspirations that are obtainable, thus freeing us from the burdens of trying to reach a reality that will never come to pass in the first place.