New relationship filled us full of exciting dreams. However, those dreams don’t always materialize at all and when things start to get sour, what once gave us so much hope now feels distracting, unclear, disappointing, tiring and a waste of time. Where did we go wrong? How did we end up in a place we had no intention of going?
If you look at your old relationships, you may notice that your partner wasn’t truly investing in your dreams. They didn’t agree to what you wanted. Maybe you thought, “If they loved me, they’d fulfill any desire I threw at them.” And when you move on, you hope that the next relationship will magically make your dreams come true. There’s a way to make that happen.
State What You Want
Go into your next relationship stating what you want—whatever that is. Whether it’s children, going back to school or starting your own business, the sooner you tell your new partner, the better. Unfortunately, many of us don’t put our objectives on the table from the very beginning. Maybe we’re too afraid that the other person will be scared off. So instead, we remain mysterious and hope the feelings they develop for us will be strong enough to go along for the ride.
See What They Want
So what is the solution? Be brave and lay your cards out on the table. But also, allow yourself to see what the other person wants. Don’t con yourself into believing that someone else wants exactly what you want—especially if they keep showing you that they aren’t interested in helping you pursue your goals.
Better yet, date multiple people and be honest about it. Instead of putting all your time and energy into one person, get to know different people before you commit to just one. You could find someone with goals similar to yours in the process.
Contenders With Comparable Goals
This may sound like a lot of work, but it really isn’t. Think about it this way: You spent a lot of time and energy making one person fit in with your dreams and goals, only to give up. If you had shared your dreams with them early on, you would have seen that you’re not compatible and moved on. Only approach contenders with comparable goals so you can ultimately reach your heart’s desire.
A Work of Art
Relationships are unique works of art. Art doesn’t conform to the beliefs of other people—it’s a personal expression of feelings and experiences. Your relationships have the potential to be masterpieces if you build them upon a foundation of honesty and invest only in the ones that have a real chance of working.